Fun Ways to Pass Free (Lazy) Time

Free time can also be considered lazy time. It’s ok to be lazy in short bouts. Once I was lazy for only two years, it’s the shortest bout of laziness I’ve had to this date. You can try to be less lazy than me, but I doubt you’ll succeed. Anyway, I’ve been lazy enough to find fun things to do that don’t require me to think too hard. I’ll list them below so you can see some of the creative things I can come up with.

1. Pretend You Are an Inchworm: Fairly simple. On nice sunny afternoons I like to go out onto my driveway and pretend I’m an inch worm. Sometimes I’ll search for another inchworm in the bushes and place him beside me, that way I have a friend to inch with. Then I lay flat, and inch my way into a busy street. This game is a lot of fun, especially if cars come by. When they do, I flail by body around in a panic, like an inchworm would. One time I was so believable that a woman stepped out of her car and started hitting me with her shoes. Apparently, she didn’t like inchworms.

2. Practice Bleeding Out With Water: This is one of my favorite things to do. I take a cup of warm water and press the top of the cup against my chest. Surprisingly, the water starts to slowly seep down my shirt like it’s my blood! I like to scream and pretend I’ve been shot. Or I like to groan and pretend I’m a monster who’s been shot. Sometimes, I do both, and pretend that I’m a screaming monster that’s been shot. But whenever I’m a monster I never feel the pain of being shot. That’s because I’m a monster. You can do this multiple times with multiple cups of water. Just keep a bunch of extra shirts handy so you can switch them out as they get wet.

3. Dig a Burrow: Gophers do it all the time, so I figured it’s probably a lot of fun. It’s fairly simple. All you need is some good dirt and two hands. Just start digging until you feel safe from predators. I like to do this on really hot days so I can lick the sweat off my nose while I work. Though, this often leads me to start thinking about how dirt tastes. Next thing I know, I’ll be eating handfuls of dirt while licking sweat to wash it down. It’s a lot of fun.

4. Pretend You Are Invisible: This is most fun when people are around. I usually press against the walls and hold my breath when they walk past me, so they don’t know I’m there. Sometimes they’ll call out your name, or ask what you are doing. Don’t worry, this is just because they don’t know where you are and are worried about your well being. Just let it be and eventually they’ll go back to their daily routine of calling the paramedics to come check on you. That’s my favorite part of the game, because they think they can see me when can’t.

Well, those are just some things you can do when you have lazy time. I don’t have that much lazy time, only about six hours a day. The other hours of the day I’m usually doing something very important. But for the six hours I can relax and be lazy. It’s a tough life, but it’s a life that some people just have to work through.