If you weren’t already aware, which I doubt you were, I have the ultimate privilege of getting to meet somewhat famous people that others would perhaps never meet. Of those, the most prominent character I run into is Raiden. Now, for those of you who are less educated with your video game knowledge, Raiden is the hero who helped Solid Snake stop the terrorists at big shell. It’s important to take note however, that he isn’t nearly as cool as people make him out to be, in fact, he’s pretty much the opposite of cool.
By that I mean he’s annoying, very annoying. So much so that I do my best to avoid him as much as possible, like today for instance. I sat in my room, minding my own business, playing a game that many have come to call dungeons and dragons.
And then he came, like a rocket, or rather, like a glowing ooze. He lurked into my room without my knowledge, slinked to the back of my chair, and apparently for about an hour watched me. I didn’t even feel his breathing dear reader, that’s the most disturbing thing. I didn’t even realize his existence till he finally spoke.
“What you doing there partner of mine?”
I jumped in my seat, “Mother of pearl!” I turn around to meet his queasy smile, “Raiden… what I surprise.”
“So I had an idea.” Raiden always did this. Half of the crazy ideas I use as jokes at parties are actually Raiden’s, but unlike me he takes them very seriously.
I sighed and tried my best to avoid eye contact, “What is it this time, and please don’t let it be another idea involving C4… please.”
Raiden laughed and gazed out my window triumphantly, “No… it’s so much better than that. You and I are going to go meet Cheryl!”
I stared at Raiden, silent. Being the wonderfully sensitive guy that he is Raiden didn’t bother waiting for my reply.
“It’ll be as easy as one two five! Though we’ll need some of your bags and clothes.”
Ah yes, Raiden. It’s important to take note that this fellow lives in my house, which means he has no income at this current point, none whatsoever. He spends the majority of his time each day pretending that my basement is filled with terrorists, and filling up the walls with bullet holes.
I looked at Raiden and let out a groan, “Where are you planning to go Raiden?” Now up to this point I thought Cheryl was a new girl he’d met online, that is, until he began to describe her.
“Well, this girls about this tall, has short black hair, turned eight last month, and is missing, so I want to find her!”
I raised my eyebrow, Raiden never did things for the good of the people.
“Why?”
Raiden laughed, “Look my mate! We’re going to silent hill!”
Now it all made sense, Raiden wasn’t being a good Samaritan, he was just being an idiot, a complete, foolhardy idiot.
Like always, I foolishly went along with his plans. So now I’m packing up my bags, and preparing to go to the most awful place I can think of, silent hill. Raiden says the trip should take no longer than three months, a real encourager that one.
I’m just hoping I don’t die, I’ll keep you guys updated.
Till next time
– Adam Gilbert
Trigger Plug 